How Do I Love Thee? Romance back on Carmel
Bill Mallory moved to Fort Walton in 1988 and began attending the fellowship that same year. And all the singles were all in luck: he wanted a date! No, we were not in luck because he wanted a harem or something of the sort; we were in luck because Bill had a notion about the best way to go about finding a suitable date, and since the “best way” didn’t already exist in our area, he turned his considerable energies and drive into creating it: he established a singles group known as “Group Interaction,” based on one he had attended in Dayton, Ohio. Interactions, as we called it for short, was the perfect singles group for a bunch of UU’s because it was, well, “UU-ish.” Instead of men trying to impress women with clever pick-up lines, or vice versa, the group was designed to help people really know each other. We discussed topics like “What do I say when I meet someone?”, or “My favorite thing to do on a ‘date’ is….” ,or “What do I want you to know about me (or me about you)?” that helped us to know each other’s interests, habits, and values.
Interactions was held at the fellowship on Carmel, and since that fellowship building was actually a house, the attendees would divide up into small groups and go into separate rooms to discuss a given topic. The group, which was advertised in the local newspaper, came to be very popular not only with single UU’s, but with “UU-ish” kind of folk in the area. We spent many wonderful evenings in those rooms (some of which, like the R.E. room, were very small!) sitting on cushions on the floor or perched on chairs, enthusiastically discussing our topic for the evening. We argued with each other, supported each other, and laughed—–a lot!
There were many memorable evenings spent there, but one, in particular, stands out in my mind—but NOT because it was typical of the group! I don’t remember the topic for that night, but I do remember the room in which my particular sub-group met: the first room one entered after coming into the fellowship building. It was was a TINY room, a room conducive to intimacy. And we were destined to REALLY get to know each other better that night!
A man who had never attended Interactions before (and never did again!) told us the sad story of his first marriage and his recalcitrant wife, who would just not take out the trash. A vexing problem, no? But he was a man of great resolve, and he told us, bending forward to make his point, how he solved THAT intolerable problem: “I beat the crap out of that woman, and when I was through, made her kiss the bottom of my shoe! AND SHE TOOK OUT THAT TRASH!” After the telling, he settled back into his chair with a look of deep pride and satisfaction on his face.
I do think, if a camera could have panned the faces of the other occupants of that room after he finished his story, you would have a perfect visual definition of the phrase “mouth agape.” No one said anything for several long seconds. I have my doubts anyone remembered to breathe! This man may have been TOTALLY CLUELESS (remember, he was there supposedly to get a date!) but I think he got the idea when a pretty woman named Sandy (not a UU) leaned slightly forward, looked him straight in the eye, and said softly: “If that had been me, you would be dead!” The man shifted slightly in his chair, his gaze
shifted somewhere up near the ceiling, and he muttered: “Maybe so.” I don’t remember that he said too much after that.
Well, that astonishing night ended, time passed, and our luck ran out: Bill remembered (realized?) he was in love with his former girlfriend, Jo. Having
remembered, he turned his considerable energies and drive to courting and winning her back. Without his leadership, Interactions eventually faded away,
and all our delightful discussions, with their agreements, disagreements, laughter, and sometimes choked-back tears were no more. We were left with only our memories, and our one unanimous area of agreement: NO ONE would pick or recommend Bachelor Number 666!
Denise Wong (with a little help from Bill Mallory!)